Remember...

We often forget to remember the good things in life. And when we remember, we forget to think about ourselves. What's great in me? How am I an awesome person? Why does people love me, why do I love myself? And so on.

A couple of years ago I wrote happy and meaningful things on my arms, just for fun. And the phrases I wrote made me glad. It's one way to recall yourself about things you're pleased with. It can be a motto, as the one I use; "One life live it" or something else. For a moment, in the middle of something, I feel happiness. It's a good feeling. Almost like a drug.

 

 Just stop for a minute.

Look around.

Find the good things.

In life.

In youself. 

I did.

 

My beloved pants from 4th grade. Amazing they still fit me! :)

 

(Nowadays I use them only at home)

A plant at home, it's beautiful in its own way.

Hopefully the marker will (at least at some point) peel off! ;)

School & thoughts

Now it's been two weeks of school. It's been okay, the weather hasn't been that great, so it feels more and more like fall. I don't mind sitting inside for hours, but school means often also a social thing. Meeting friends and talking, having fun etc. School doesn't mean the same as it did the three last years, 'cause now I don't have as much friends to be with. But at the same time, I can be much all by myself! I know that can sound like I'm a lonely soul, but no, I test myself. And I've noticed I don't mind being alone, especially in school this fall. Of course I talk a little every day with those I know.

I've been in this school over three years, and soon it's over; I can leave this school in a few months. It's about two years ago I felt terrified of being alone, 'cause that meant I would have those bad thoughts and start crying. Please, don't think I'm pathetic, but I think everybody will have a moment in their lives, when it feels like everything is falling apart.

I just started writing some kind of a diary of things I remember from two years ago. Probably I won't let anyone read it. I've noticed I've forgotten many of the harmful things that happened back then, but it's probably for the best. That's why I make it a little fictional, all details won't be true and probably I'll give this main character a fake name. But do I need to do this? No. Even so, it feels like I can put a finger on it now, I couldn't do it then. It was too painful. I think this sort of diary will help me feel what I've done to get a better life. Feel how much I've been fighting and what I've been fighting for. I can't go through the same thing again.

I get my social dose every day, mostly by my family. I have so much school things going on (plus exams in five weeks), so I don't have so much time for meeting my true friends. Except tonight :D This night I won't be "alone". I meet many friends plus other people I don't know that well, but I know it'll be fun! :) We're gonna watch Disney's film; Brave. So I gotta get going, so I won't miss the bus ;)

Life is great, isn't it? ;)

 http://images.search.conduit.com/ImagePreview/?q=life+quotes&ctid=CT2786678&SearchSource=3&FollowOn=true&PageSource=Results&SSPV=&start=0&pos=26

Finding old stuff

Last Sunday me and my family had a major cleaning in our apartment. I cleaned my own room, which was already enough. I listned to music and even enyojed a little, especially when I found old stuff. That brought back some cute, old memories...

I found plenty of cards from birthdays and Christmas. Even some letters from my Granny and friends. There were also some drawings, birthday invitations and so on. I realized that most of them were over 10 years old, oh my... It was very funny to find these old stuff, it made me glad.

Here's some of them, a few are only a couple of years old.

The same day we cleaned, my new curtains were ready to be hanged up next to one of the windows. We bought them a few weeks ago, but we had to sew them, my mom did that, so thanks to her :)

My room with the new curtains.

I told one of my friends that I found some old letters from her and she thought it would be nice to resume our letter exchange again :) Especially nowadays when we don't see each other that often. My answer were of course yes! We decided that I would begin with the writing. Let's see how it will go :)
 

The pattern in closer look.

Skateboard shop

Today is my little brothers' birthday! So congratz to him! :) Yesterday I was shopping a birthday present in stores I never would otherwise visit. Skateboard shops was nr. 1 on the list of shops I should go to. It felt weird and kind of awkward to step inside the shop with only menswear and skateboards... I was so insecure and hoped no one would ask if I needed any help.

My first horrifying thought was that there were ONLY MEN in the store! Okay, I saw one girl with her boyfriend there, but that's totally different! Some day when I have a boyfriend I could do that, go to someplace like Dressmann or a skateboard shop with him. Then it's not awkward, it's cute :-P

  

I found some t-shirts with prints of skateboards and thought these would suit him! These would my brother want to have :) When I stood there at the low shelwes, a guy looked at me, actually stared at me, five meters away. I met his gaze and he smiled and looked very happy. I smiled back, and wondered if he thought it was funny to see a girl at the menswear department :D He looked Asian, had dark, long hair and looked pretty good. We didn't talk or anything, but I felt interested about him; why was he so amused? Did he try not to laugh at me? You know, it's not that common in this country to stare at strangers and look very happy and friendly. It's more like; "don't stare at me, mind your own business". Sad, huh? Of course everybody is not like that, I might have exaggerated a little. I try to not be like that, anti-social. I like those who are different and friendly. I try to spread my smile to people so that they also feel happiness. Maybe that's what he was doing; he spread his happiness to strangers :)

And just to make you sure I didn't imagine this; we took the same escalators when we left the store and he met my gaze (again) with the same excited and friendly look. I spoke in my phone so I couldn't say anything to him. However I struggled with finding words to the one I spoke with. My mind where somewhere else at the moment...


After all I was glad to be at the skateboard store :) I found a present and something to be happy about!

http://skatingtricks.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/beginner-skateboard-tricks.jpg
http://i437.photobucket.com/albums/qq95/JoeJonasLuver12345_2008/skateboards%20and%20skaters/Elements_of_Skateboarding_by_Midna.jpg
http://www.sneakerfiles.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Nike-x-Levis-511-Skateboarding-Collection-2-600x428.jpg

Day 10: What I would find in your bag

I have many bags, but three of them I use more often. Now I don't know wich one I should write about... Actually I could write about the bag I used last time. And that's my sports bag, which I used a couple of days ago. It contains more stuff than other bags I use.

I took the bag here beside me, so that I can write exactly what's inside it. I found these stuff;

Mine looks almost the same.

• two pairs of clean socks
• my indoor footwear (for sport activities)
• purse/wallet
• sunglasses
• a bottle of water
• my shorts
• handkerchiefs
• small patches
• chewing gum
• a psychology book
• "Mynthon"
• some old receipts
• a lipstick 
• a deodorant
• aspirin
• shower gel

I don't always have all these things with me. As you see, in my sports bag I have "sports stuff", but I always try to have with me at least my purse and handkerchiefs when I'm off somewhere else than to the gym.



 http://www.prodirectselect.com/Products/Nike-Accessories-Heritage-SI-Club-Bag-Black-Black-Dark-Grey-21593.aspx

Time is running faster than I thought...

Why do I always have the same feeling a few weeks before school starts? "Summer is just too short!" At least where I live. Where did all the time go? Well, I should know better, 'cause I've read a book only about time! It was not at all fictional, only theoretical. It was for a course in school, of course. So roughly quoting to the book; we have always the same amount of time, we just don't always notice when the time is running faster than we thought. Especially when it's something we enjoy or love doing, or when we feel flow (which is uncommon).

 Sad things or depression makes us feel time is not running at all. When life feels impossible, it's hard to move on. It's hard to stop dwelling on the same hard things. And those who have experienced bad things, like losing someone important, have probably heard the famous phrase; "time heals all wounds" (In Swedish; "tiden läker alla sår"). I wasn't so glad to hear it back then. How would time heal me when I don't know how to stop feeling bad, how to rise up from the awful life I've made and move on? But now I actually know somewhat what the phrase means. At least what it means for me. It's partly true, isn't it? After some time you feel better and you are probably not as sad and angry as you were before. But only if you truly start living your life again and do not dwell on the same thing(s) again and again. Remember; you have only one life :)

In the previous paragraph I had kind of a weird, peaceful moment. I had to stop and think; what am I writing? This has to come from myself and from my heart. And it did :) Time is a weird and interesting "thing", or should I say phenomenon? My title tells how I'm related to time, usually. That's how it has felt for me the last weeks; it feels like time runs faster when I have much enjoyable things to do :) And this summer has been great! I've travelled, been with them I love, met my relatives and enjoyed life.

I listened to Hans Zimmer's song; "Time" from the film "Inception" (2010) when I wrote about time. The music made me so peaceful and glad somehow. I saw the film yesterday with my big brother. It's so mysterious and at the same time sad. Leonardo Di Caprio plays his role very good, this film is now one of my favourites. I recommend it to all who withstand action and like to philosophize about time and dreams.

http://christainnewyork.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/time-management.jpg

 http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/12300000/Inception-Wallpaper-inception-2010-12396931-1440-900.jpg