School & thoughts

Now it's been two weeks of school. It's been okay, the weather hasn't been that great, so it feels more and more like fall. I don't mind sitting inside for hours, but school means often also a social thing. Meeting friends and talking, having fun etc. School doesn't mean the same as it did the three last years, 'cause now I don't have as much friends to be with. But at the same time, I can be much all by myself! I know that can sound like I'm a lonely soul, but no, I test myself. And I've noticed I don't mind being alone, especially in school this fall. Of course I talk a little every day with those I know.

I've been in this school over three years, and soon it's over; I can leave this school in a few months. It's about two years ago I felt terrified of being alone, 'cause that meant I would have those bad thoughts and start crying. Please, don't think I'm pathetic, but I think everybody will have a moment in their lives, when it feels like everything is falling apart.

I just started writing some kind of a diary of things I remember from two years ago. Probably I won't let anyone read it. I've noticed I've forgotten many of the harmful things that happened back then, but it's probably for the best. That's why I make it a little fictional, all details won't be true and probably I'll give this main character a fake name. But do I need to do this? No. Even so, it feels like I can put a finger on it now, I couldn't do it then. It was too painful. I think this sort of diary will help me feel what I've done to get a better life. Feel how much I've been fighting and what I've been fighting for. I can't go through the same thing again.

I get my social dose every day, mostly by my family. I have so much school things going on (plus exams in five weeks), so I don't have so much time for meeting my true friends. Except tonight :D This night I won't be "alone". I meet many friends plus other people I don't know that well, but I know it'll be fun! :) We're gonna watch Disney's film; Brave. So I gotta get going, so I won't miss the bus ;)

Life is great, isn't it? ;)

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